I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
