Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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