3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
