When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
