doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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