Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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