I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
