his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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