need another drink. this is the easiest way
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm like, not good at living.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
