yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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