I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
