i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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