You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
