Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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