Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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