The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
