You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
