Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
