yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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