no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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