Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
