It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
