i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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