I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
