what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
