Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
