Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
