She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
