so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
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