I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm like, not good at living.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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