She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
