No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
