Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
babies were throwing up all over the place
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
