There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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