Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
