This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
