It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
