Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
