I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
