wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
