so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
