Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
