what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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