So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
