the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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