Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
