and you said cock pushups were impossible
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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