if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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