last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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