i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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