I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
